Read All About It
by RedInHerLedger
Summary: Jasper and Bella, a short-story of their fate.
1. Chapter 1

Read All About It

"So put it in all of the papers, I'm not afraid…they can read all about it." Emelie Sande

Alone. Completely and devastatingly alone. I knew he would leave me, I had known it all along. It wasn't the loss of him that made my heart hurt this way. It was the loss of a family and the interwoven strings that connected us. They had all become my own, they had left an imprint that I could never wash away, no matter what Edward promised. Ashes, his promises were nothing but paper that had burst into flame. He had murdered my hopes and replaced them with his sick version of reality.

"Bella…"

I heard my name being whispered, maybe I was delusional. Curled into a fetal position, I didn't care about moving. Starting to drift, something touched my face. Cold. I wasn't alone. Opening my eyes was painful, like trying wrench something open that was better left shut.

The sun was fading, turning day into night. Yellow and gold, a pale light in the darkness. His eyes were on fire, his hair like a halo, Jasper.

"Wha…what are you doing here?" I croaked.

"I stayed."

"Why?" I feared what he would say next.

"It's done Bella. I…told Alice about my…feelings…for you."

"Oh my god…" my worst fears were realized. All those looks, all those sly, soft touches. I knew there was something between us. I knew I wasn't crazy. Had Edward known?

"He knew," he said softly, as if reading my thoughts.

"But…you tried to attack me!" I tried to reason with my own sanity.

"No, Bella. Edward was losing control…I was trying to get to you before…"

"No!"

"I'm sorry," he said, turning his back to me, the sun going down in the distance.

Could it be true? Some part of me that I refused to recognize knew that it was. All of this was for something, but what? To break my heart? To tear apart all that was sacred?

"How can this be Jasper? Alice loves you, you love her…" not to mention Edward. I loved him, not the kind of love that you read about in fairy-tales, but the kind of love that is enough. The kind of love that holds you but never feels warm.

"We grew apart…decades ago. This, what I feel…for you, it's real."

Months later

Days passed like waves, some better than others. Jasper never left. It was rumored around town that the Cullen's departure was due to a sickness in the family. I should have laughed at that theory but I couldn't, it was all too close to home for me. Was I the sickness that had torn them apart? Everyday Jasper would convince me otherwise. I wanted to refuse his attentions, but I didn't. We would meet at the Cullen's abandoned house sometimes. Other day's he would be waiting for me in my room. We had created a kind of normalcy between us. Until yesterday.

Flashback

"How was your day?" Jasper asked, handing me my favorite ice cream.

"Fine," my response was automatic as I opened the small container of cookie dough.

"I'm not ever going to leave you," he whispered, shocking me. We hadn't discussed anything overly serious in months. It was like we were friends, kind of.

His eyes were an intense gold as he leaned towards me, his lips softly touching mine. He licked the ice-cream that had dripped down my chin. I jerked in reaction, but he held me close, taking my hand in his. His sweet breath made my heart pulse out of my chest. I had never felt this way when Edward kissed me. Jasper made me feel like I was cherished, like I was something spectacular in his eyes.

"Don't doubt this. Stop feeling guilty for what we have, Bella. What's between us…it's natural," his words made me quicken.

We sat on his bed for hours, simply staring into each other's eyes. He made the missing pieces fall into place. It was surreal.

End Flashback

Today Jasper insisted that we go out-of-town to have dinner. He said he wanted to go somewhere that we could be seen together yet be ourselves. I wore a lavender dress that he had gifted me. I wore no make-up, Jasper liked that. He told me that make-up wasn't necessary for someone who was already too beautiful. The man was deranged. I had noticed that he wasn't afraid to act on his impulses like Edward had been. Jasper didn't like sharing me with others, and he made no qualms about it. He voiced his thoughts and opinions very loudly, never hiding his feelings from me. It was scary and thrilling all at once. Edward had been a calming force, where jasper made me feel like I wasn't a porcelain doll to be broken. Make no mistake, he treated me with special care, but he let me feel what I wanted to feel. Jasper never stifled my emotions.

"You're thinking about him again," Jasper's voice startled me, he was perched on my window sill dressed in black.

"I wish you would call before magically appearing in my room, it makes me nervous," I scolded him.

"Avoidance will earn you nothing when it comes to me, Bella. I know you inside and out, there's no need for pretense with me," his eyes locked with mine and refused to let go.

I stood there, transfixed as he slowly walked towards me, twisting me so that he held me from behind, my back against his chest. He moved me forward until we stood in front of my dark-oak dresser mirror. Our eyes touched through our reflections, his right hand coming up to trace my jaw line. Jasper leaned into me, lightly sniffing my hair, his hard body shuddering against mine. His lips grazed my ear, his eyes turned downcast, as he brought both of his arms around my torso, holding me close, his fingers splaying across either side of my hips. His scent took over my senses as he nuzzled me with his mouth and chin, causing everything inside of me to come alive. Minutes seemed like seconds as time sped up according to my adrenaline. My pelvis ached with wanting him while my heart played music to the beat of desire.

He turned me towards him, our noses touching as he told me against my lips, "I can give you all of the things you want."

For the first time in my life I knew what I wanted. I wanted all of the pieces that connected us and everything else in between. I wanted a life that wasn't ordinary or predictable. I wanted him.


	2. Chapter 2

"You Don't Know me" by Apparat ( I wrote this chapter to this addicting song, so in love with it)

Masquerading. Most people go through their whole lives pretending to be someone else. They live to please the crowd, dreaming that their sitting on some imaginary throne, while inconsequential peons look up at them in wonder. I finally understood why. It's fear that makes us follow that line of imaginary thinking. Fear that we aren't good enough, fear that we never made it, but mostly just a raw-stinking fear of the unknown. I'm afraid, afraid that what I'm doing is wrong. I'm afraid of being happy, I'm scared that if I accept this it will be ripped away from me in an instant, that fate will slap my hand for daring the impossible. Perhaps I'm ghosting in and out of the realms of reality and the dream world. If reality was Edward leaving then I can face that. If loving Jasper was a dream, I'm not sure I wanted to wake up. I'm not sure that I wanted to be real.

"You're doing it again," Jasper shook me from my stupor of thoughts, as he gently clasped my hand in his, soothing my skin in circular motions.

"Doing what?" I played dumb, although I wasn't sure why I did it. He knew me so well, maybe better than I knew myself.

"Thinking of him…and me."

"I'm sorry," and I was, because I didn't want to make Jasper feel that way. I still couldn't figure out the why's of the situation, but I knew that Jasper loved me. I started to hang my head slightly, but his hand caught my chin, firmly stopping me from my confusion.

"Never apologize to me. But please, stop thinking about Edward and I in the same category, we are nothing alike."

"You can't read minds, but you can read me, can't you? Something Edward could never do, no matter how hard he tried."

"Yes," he said with a hard finality.

The silence echoed in our small bubble of gravity, although the restaurant was over-flowing with speech and excitement. I finished my meal of shrimp scampi in silence, but it seemed tasteless compared to the intensity of Jasper's stare. His human façade was so transparent to me, yet others seemed content to merely idolize him in some way. He swirled his glass of wine with dark elegance while shifting in his seat, his sinewy arms rippling beneath fabric. His eyes would stare into mine whenever I looked up, but I could still feel the weight of his gaze all over me at all times. His expression never changed, it was one of animalistic hunger, searching and grasping at something inside of me, like butterfly wings that were trapped inside my rib-cage, exploring yet begging to be set free. I felt close to bursting, even my skin had turned hot.

"Can I get you anything else?" the waiter asked in a small voice, ripping me from our trance. Jasper had already frightened him when the waiter's eyes had wandered over me for one second too long. Jasper looked at me and I nodded my head. I felt somewhat deflated, as if I had just landed after a long fall.

"No. We're finished here," Jasper smiled, but it was more a flashing of teeth.

The drive back to forks went by too quickly, all of the anticipation of reaching our destination was gone. We were on a fast track back to reality. Jasper kissed me goodnight and I headed home to Charlie, my over-protective father. I started my beat-up truck and took one last glance at the Cullen residence before pulling away. Although I knew Jasper was watching me, I couldn't see him, but I could still feel his presence in the surrounding forest. I made it home in a matter of minutes, not knowing that Jasper was already perched in the tree by my bedroom window.

"Charlie, I'm back," I called as I shut the door. I could hear the sound of the television and light snoring, and then the sound of Charlie pushing his recliner in as he sat to attention.

"Bells, you're home?" he returned with a yawn as I came into the living room.

"I'm here."

"You have fun with the girls?" he asked, eyeing my lavender dress.

"Um…yeah. Jessica decided she wanted us all to dress up…" I finished lamely, feeling guilty for lying to Charlie.

"Well, that's nice…I guess," he said, scratching his head.

"Night dad."

"Alright Bells, see you in the morning," he gave me one of his lopsided smiles.

Donning my favorite purple pajamas I climbed into bed, debating on reading or sleeping. I wasn't sure I could fall asleep at the pace of the wheels that were turning in my brain. I couldn't stop thinking about Jasper and the way he made me feel. I felt alive, I felt intrigued, but mostly I felt the beginnings of love. No, it was something more than that. Love wasn't a word that could describe all that I was feeling. I've seen what most people call love often pale through time and degrade into something mawkish. I had known that I loved Jasper after James had tried to kill me. He had calmed me in a way that no one else could. It wasn't just about his power to control emotions, it was in the way he had secretly held me at the hotel when Alice was on the phone with Edward. It was in the way he had promised me that day that he would never force his gift on me, he had allowed me to go through my fear, and in the end I was stronger because of it. He gave me a choice, while Edward took all of my choices away, refusing to turn me into a vampire. I should have known that if Jasper hadn't succumbed to my blood on that day that he never would.

There was a slight knock at my bedroom window. Jasper.


End file.
